quotes@xmppguru.appspotchat.com - a Self-Help Bot (or Not)

quotes@xmppguru.appspotchat.com

Yet Another XMPP Bot! This time it is meant for nice quotes that should increase your "anymus" at work, in a boring day or in both at the same time as usual. After checking that more than 25% of all messages to xmppguru@appspot.com where about personal problems and assistance requests, I decided to build something to help those poor XMPP users.
So basically the recommended usage is:

1. Swear to the Bot! Use bad words freely. He always understand you... (This is a MUST, if you don't say anything he won't help you)
2. Get a nice quote back that eventually will help you with motivation or pushes.

You can use the xmppguru extension by simple adding it to your GTalk's / Jabber Contacts: quotes@xmppguru.appspotchat.com

Examples of general usage
To receive a quote, simple express your feeling.

Chat Message: I hate this rainy day!!! Screw it!
quotes@xmppguru.appspot.com: "Sometimes water is better than snow..." - Someone from somewhere

Chat Message: what the f*** you are not helping shi*** bot!
zaptin@xmppguru.appspot.com: "" - "Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress." - Gandhi

It is not scientifically proved, but it might help. At least, in the worst case, will be an always online friend that is always willing to hear your complains. Always there in your roster.

URL Shortener XMPP Bot

zaptin@xmppguru.appspotchat.com

XMPP Provides easy and clean ways to build XMPP Bots, as I showed on the previous post, we can use Google AppEngine to create 24h online, zero-maintenance Bots. Yes, I don't need to host this. Google is doing the job for now, for free, let it be.

You can use the xmppguru extension to Short URL simply add it to your GTalk's / Jabber Contacts: zaptin@xmppguru.appspotchat.com

Examples of general usage
To request a Short Version of your URL just send a message containing the URL.

Chat Message: http://pixagle.appspot.com
zaptin@xmppguru.appspot.com: http://zapt.in/D5 -> http://pixagle.appspot.com

Chat Message: xmppjingle.org
zaptin@xmppguru.appspot.com: http://zapt.in/D1 -> http://xmppjingle.org

This is quite handy, avoiding all the hassle to visit one of the other URL Shorteners just to have a smaller URL.

XMPP Bots - XMPPGuru

xmppguru@appspot.com

XMPP Provides easy and clean ways to build XMPP Bots, as I showed on the previous post, we can use Google AppEngine to create 24h online, zero-maintenance Bots.


One interesting Bot is a Guru One, the main objective of this Bot is to clarify topics, answer general knowledge questions and retrieve hints for general opinion.
You can add it to your GTalk's / Jabber Contacts: xmppguru@appspot.com


Examples of general knowledge:
Question: What is Aerosmith?
xmppguru: Aerosmith is an American hard rock band, sometimes referred to as "The Bad Boys from Boston" and "America's Greatest Rock and Roll Band".

Question: What is an atomic bomb?
xmppguru: nuclear weapon: an explosive device whose destructive power is due to the uncontrollable release of energy from the fission of heavy nuclei, usually uranium-235 or plutonium-239, by neutrons sustaining a rapid chain reaction

Question:  Who invented the harpoon?
xmppguru: Endangered Species question: Who invented the harpoon cannon? Sven (or Svend) Foyn (1809-1894) was a whaler born in Tønsberg in southeast Norway. In 1856, he invented the bow ... 

Examples of general opinion:

Question: What is a good song?

xmppguru: What is a good song to "give" someone who you are …

Question: Do you trust god?

xmppguru: The Bible tells us to have faith: (Hebrews 11:6 NIV) And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he ...

The Bot is not meant to have conscience neither deep lexical interpretation, the goal is to answer your question when possible, something directly with a straight answer, but something also vague hints.

For unknown answers the principe is the same of Horoscope, but in a scientific way. 

the best way of discovering how it works, purpose and functionality is by testing it.

Sometimes you will be surprised even asking by your full name. In the same way you will be surprised by crappy answers. Enjoy!